


Be Careful Not to Choke on Your Aspirin

by FandomTree



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU, Crack, Gen, Humor, I'm always a slut for modern au's, Modern, Modern AU, Road Trip, hell unleashes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomTree/pseuds/FandomTree
Summary: (MODERN AU) The Skywalker/Solo family decides to go on a roadtrip, dragging along Ben's friends and not so friends. As the trip goes on, what could possibly go wrong?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A random fic because why not.  
> After discussing ideas with my friend, I have finally done it. 
> 
> Enjoy my crap writing hopefully

Long hours in a broken down van with his family was not what he would call fun, regardless of what his daughter or son said. In fact, one might call the experience stressful. 

How he even ended up in the situation was a blur but that was not important at the pitiful moment. The real question is; how to live through the blasted ride and not want to drive yourself in a funeral pyre.

“Father!”   
Luke waved his hands into the brooding man's view, quite playfully. Despite aging a few years, he didn't change much in mannerisms. He scooted above his spot to look down at the row of dirty seats behind him, struggling in an uncomfortable ‘yoga esque’ position. 

“Are you alright here?—We have enough bottles of water—anything you need, erm.” A sheepish grin trickled on Luke's face. 

“I'm okay.” A low reassurance. He let out a deep breath. 

Luke nodded, maneuvering out to avoid elbowing one of the kids. 

BUMP.  
The van jolted an inch in the air. By now it was their third time.   
“Han!” Leia shouted through the bickering of startled children.   
Han retracted his head back on the extra cushioned driver seat, merely murmuring a response.

“HmF.” Anakin(Vader) curled his fist, massaging his neck from the sudden movement of the van. “Dammit..” He murmured under his breath. 

Leia was very.. Very close in being the most exasperated being on earth. “The speed bumps—slow down will you!” 

“-And Ben!" She swerved her head, perfectly predicting her sons habits. "Wear your seatbelt, you know how your father drives.” She signed. 

13 year old Ben Solo plummeted back in his seat, grudgingly pulling out the belt and clicking it back to wrap himself in the protective strap.

“Take an example from your two friends. Belts buckled tight.” His mother semi-lectured. Focus shifted to the awkwardly sprawled children who were unexpectedly invited to a hell hole vacation. Hux, and ‘Phasma’ as she nicknamed herself.   
“Yeah Ben, like me.” His sneered at his brooding friend. 

“Shut up.” Crossing his arms tight.

Rey peeped out her head from the very back row, swiftly buckling herself in too. She glanced to the right to see her two friends sitting.   
How they were here was by a simple ask and an overly confident dad. And with no prior knowledge by Leia, the deal was secured and the whole family road trip suddenly turned into a children's field trip of parenthood nightmares.

\-----------  
Half a day ago:  
 _“Why is she even allowed to come here!” Ben stuttered out. “There isn't even enough room! You already had my friends come over.”_

_Han grunted, pulling up the extra seat rows from the back. “That should do it.” Not hearing a single word from Ben at all._

_“Mom!”_

_His mother soon arrived to the scene with five carrier bags and a mini Popsicle box.  
“What do you need.” She recited. “Your stuff are in trunk—do you need your cd’s Ben. It's no-.”_

_“Why are ‘they’ coming?” Ben tapped his feet to the concrete. “We’re driving for hours and Dad’s deciding to take little kids over.”_

_“I would argue that you would be considered ‘little’ too.”_

_Ben grew a soft tint of red. “But still. It's-awkward.”_

_“I can't seem to convince your Father into closing everything as strictly a family road trip.” She practically groaned. “I apparently was too late to intervene. Their parents already sent them off to us. Keep tight, it'll be fun.” Leia patted her son with half a warm smile._

_Ben shrugged with an uncertain nod._

_“—And take this to your grandfather.” She tossed her son a mini bottle of Aspirin._  
“He might need it.” She grimaced.   
\-------------

 

Everyone surprisingly fit without bursting the van in pieces.   
Mr and Mrs Organa-Solo plopped in the driver seats. Luke with Ben and Hux in the second. Mr. Skywalker with Phasma agreeing to sit behind her friends. And finally Rey, with her newly best friended Finn and Poe. 

Chewie agreed to be the petsitter while their gone. A blessing indeed. 

The young children settled down in the long trip. Bored faces melted into the exterior. 

Finn nervously watched the three eighth graders. Having to be newly reformed to junior high, the poor boy was dragged into Hux’s group. Thankfully at least Poe had been graced with a clear head. How Finn would love for this year to end. That way a flicker of chance in Rey entering middle school. 

 

The trip felt longer than reality, soon it'll feel even longer.   
“Uncle Luke?” Ben called to the attentive adult.

“Yes Ben?” 

“Where's erm, my CDs..”

Luke tapped his chin. “Ooh. Tsk. I think we left them at home. Sorry Ben. Do you need anything… Other, than your CD and I'll try digging for it.” 

He groaned in terrible annoyance. “Ughh..” Ben slouched into his seat. 

“My Chemical Romance?” Hux said as an attempt to deride. Elbowing at his friend, hands cupped to his mouth. 

Even further did Ben with to hide from plain sight. Vigorously shoving his hood up and pulling on the strings very tightly, enclosing his face. 

“So that's what he’s been talking about.” Luke softly exclaimed. “It's—a band right?”   
Ben’s muffled yells were his only reply. 

“I'm not judging anything—I bet they make great music!” Luke chuckled awkwardly to brighten his nephew. 

“They do!-.” Phasma matter of factly commented, leaning from behind. “You should listen someday, it's worth his time and it's worth mine.”   
Hux casually shrugged at her, holding back a scoff at the suggestion in music. Of course, this is all just external denial. In truth, he own half of their albums. 

“Hey. Maybe someday.” Luke patted Ben with enthusiasm. His nephew was the complete opposite of that. Tucking himself in his hoodie until he resembles the behavior of a angsty turtle. 

 

A loud knock exclaimed it's way to everyone's attention. “Hey! Guys, I've been driving for hours, make designation suggestions, quick—quick.” Han tooted. 

“The Van..” Ben squeaked. 

Rey beamed out from the very back.   
“The Beach!!” 

Anakin leaned to the window. “We're not near the b—” 

“We're 40 minutes away from the beach.”

“WHat?” He yelled, screaming internally.

“Father what's wrong?” Luke turned back to face the worn out man.   
“S a n d.” He shook his head. The only nightmares he gets these days.   
“What?” Luke gawked. 

Ben poked an eye out from the little hole he released from his enclosed hoodie. If his awe inspiring grandpa’s ‘flashbacking’ over the beach then he's already feeling it too. 

Hux raised a brow. “What the hells wrong with Gramps’-Vader.” He whispered.   
Ben murmured back what sounded like an “I don't know.” 

Rey drummed the seat in front of her in tribute. “Beach!—Beach!—Beach!” Urging her friends to chant.   
In unison the three young kids chattered their way to the sandy ocean coast….


	2. Beachy Breeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A random and somewhat messy af chapter that I used to dump me and my friends weird ideas for fun.

“Don't get yourself wet!” Leia called towards the frolicking children. She slammed down the trunk, dragging out bright umbrellas and beach towels.  
Han set the chairs, with mindful trouble in opening up the seats. 

The scorching sun was irritating.. But not as irritating as the sand. Anakin made no move in getting out. Instead Vader adjusted his nasal cannulas out of no reason but habit. Sand can do many things; burn your feet, jam up your nails, and it gets damn everywhere. Introduction to his irrational hatred of sand. God forbid sand!

“Is your family trying to burn me?!” Hux yelled in his car seat, yet to unbuckle. Reaching to his water bottle and chugging half of the containments. 

“We have err— sun screen..” Ben said.

“B—E—N.” Hux fumed. “Do you have eyes, I'm ginger—I burn. That crap isn't doing anything for me. It hurted and I wanted the cruel life to end my pain. ” Referencing the fateful pool party he attended for hours. Achieving a lobster appearance and many freckles. 

Ben shrugged, putting back the sun screen.  
Hux continued on. “Three seconds out and wow the sun has a gift, wrapped ready for me— skin cancer!” 

“I get it—I get it.” Ben ushered him quiet.  
“Stay here with grandpa. Up to you.”  
He noticed that Phasma haven't said a work in 40 minutes. Ben jumped out to find her dozing off into whatever dream land. How she slept through the noise was a miracle.  
Ben poked at her forehead. Next poking harder. “Phsss… Hey.” 

Hux lunged the water bottle into the seat behind him, water spurring away onto the seats and the people behind.  
“What the f— What?” Phasma bursts her eyes open with water dripping on her cheeks. She adjusted to Hux’s barely contained laughter and sneaky snorting. 

“So she's awake now.” Hux stated. 

“Oh— my god Armitage.” Phasma hissed. “I'll break your skull.” 

“Hux.” Armitage Hux corrected. 

“HUX!” Ben grabbed the ends of his long hair. He gazed to the right, seeing his very annoyed grandpa. 

Vader rigidly wiped off the liquid from his area. Irritated by his grandchild’s friend of his. Merely giving a scary stink eye that said enough.

Ben pushed Hux down to his seat and scavenged for napkins. “Aha!... Um do you—.” 

“No need Ben.” Anakin slumped back.

He hasn't said a word to Ben since he came here. Perhaps he was too tired to speak. “Okay!” Ben coughed. “I—mean, okay.” 

“Aren't you all going outside. Other than.. Your friend Hux.” 

“—I guess so…” Ben murmured to his grandfather. “Phaz! Are you going out?” 

“Sure. Give me the tan lotion please.” She smirked. “You need to smear it on too?” 

“Nope.” He claimed. “I'll be under an umbrella… Hey.” Looking at Hux. “We have umbrellas you know..”  
“No. No chances! Go frolic in the sand.” Hux said.  
Ben rolled his eyes. “Are you coming out Gramdpa? I mean if you w—.” 

“I'll stay here. Unless your mother decides on carrying me into the beach.” He kidded.  
Ben snorted. “She would.” 

 

Ben sat into the warmed up chair, in the protection of shade. By now he noticed he was still wearing a black hoodie. The heat was slowly accumulating in his clothing like a death trap. Sighing, he threw off the first layer, showing his also black T-shirt underneath. So much sacrifice for that aesthetic. 

Phasma walked along the rims, stomping through the water. Determined that no crashing wave can stumble her footing. Rey kicked the water vigorously, growing bored from Finn and Poe separating to craft a mini water tub of sand. 

Phasma tensed from sudden cold splashing against her back. “Err..”  
The 11 year old continued rounding up the water and sprinkling it into the air. Phasma quickened her speed to avoid the perimeter of little kids. 

“Look! Look!” Rey hollered at her friends, hands buried into the shore. Hoisting up a large clam shell. The two boys huddled closely, observing the clam shell. 

“If we go deeper, we’ll find more.” Rey guessed.  
“But we’ll get wet.” Finn held the shell firmly.  
“I know. But maybeee… A bit more deeper and more shells.” Rey said what she said and started to roll up her pants and sleeves. “Let's go!”  
“But—.”  
“Ya’ll are older than me!”  
“SO?” The two boys called in unison. Rey was already marching into the shallow part of the shore, looking back to see of Mrs. Organa was watching.  
Poe raised a brow. “Huh.” He too rolled up his sleeves and pants, ready to lunge into the water.  
“Wait!—Wait! What?” Finn swerved to their direction. “Mrs. Organa told us not to get w e t. She’ll kill us! You two are dead—I-will-stay.” 

“She's too nice to use than that.” Rey laughed.  
Finn stuttered out illegitimate words before dashing with his friends towards the shore water. He has nothing to loose with his friends around. 

Ben screamed at a hand touching his shoulder.  
“Ben.” Leia softly said.  
“Oh…” He rubbed his neck. “Hey Mom..”

“You need anything? Or are you just going to sit here.” She chuckled.  
“Mom I'm fine. This is fun. Sittings fun.”  
“Well.” His mom tossed him a volley ball. “I found this under your dad's seat. It's your isn't it. Take care of your stuff I'll get lost forever. Go play if you want.” She lifted up the cooler. “Meanwhile— I'll be taking this to the Van.” 

“The ‘Millennium Falcon’ you mean.” Ben sneered at the Van.  
“Honestly I have no idea why he named his junk.” Leia joked, leaving to the automobile. 

“Um, where's Dad?....Uncle Luke?” He questioned. Now that he thought of it, he hasn't seen his father… Or his uncle around. 

“In the Boardwalk. They’ll be back with something to eat, hopefully.”

 

“So…” Hux tapped his feet against the car rug.  
Vader didn't bat an eye against the teenager sitting two seats next to him.  
Hux squinted at the man, attempting to create eye contact. Well damn he hates me doesn't he. He looks like a stick just stabbed him in the ass.. He crossed his arms tightly. “Sir. Is it true that you beat that one robber unconscious… Because—hell, Ben’s been screaming about it at school.”

“...” Vader internally groaned, clutching his temples. Why is this kid talking to me. 

“I swear is Ben lying—” 

“My grandson was not lying.” He turned his head slightly to the teens direction. 

Hux’s face crinkled. “Wait! How!” 

“None of your concern. A robber tried robbing the wrong house and so he received what he needed.” 

“Hmp.” Hux straightened his posture. “Did you beat him with your cane…” 

“I don't own a cane.” 

“You should.” He looked nearly smug. 

Who is this child's parents.. Vader shook his head at the sheer level of how bratty Ben’s friend was. Most importantly why is he friends with him. And if he stays longer than he's stuck with him. Hux hates the sun and Anakin hates the sand. Both trapped in a dirty van. 

“Mister. The tubes. What's the purpose of them.” This time Hux sounded at least mannered. Looking towards the tubes that intersect on Anakin’s head.

“Breathing. Now stop asking questions.” He quickly dismissed him from his view. 

Hux furrowed, slamming back into the leather seat. 

The trunk bursts open, Leia heaved the cooler into the back, then leaning into the shade.  
Hux glanced behind him. Hoping someone would release him from his extremely boring current ‘nothing left to do but sitting in his ‘protective bubble space’ plan’. 

“Ah. You've been here?” Leia questioned the young teenager. 

Hux gulped in uncertainty of where this would lead to. “Yes ma’am?” 

“Ben seems bored sitting alone. Do you want to join your friends?” 

“I- um.” In truth he would but the outside avoidance is very strong. 

“He dislikes the sun.” The older man bluntly stated out. Hux’s rant earlier wasn't hard to not hear.  
Hux gave an invisible protest against the man.  
Leia sighed at the passengers, one hand to her hip. “We have umbrellas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next is probably a series of inside Van blabbers and very long driving with empty roads and a ton of waffle houses scattered about.


End file.
